I made an observation while school clothes shopping this fall. My five-year-old is tall (like her dad) and as a result, is already in a size six. In addition to making me feel exceedingly old and depressed—this also makes me feel really, really cheap.

Here’s why…

When my oldest crossed over from clothes sizes that ended in “T” she also crossed into the land of the of pre-teen clothes. Size six clothes are the same as size fourteen clothes as it relates to style and, well, price. This mean that I not only have to watch out for hootchie clothes intended for a twelve-year-old that want to reach out and kidnap my sweet, innocent five-year-old, but I also have to watch my wallet. Once the “Ts” disappear from the tag, so do the prices on clothes. Gone are the days of three-for-ten at Old Navy. Forget about a Circo deal at Target. Nope, I now have to pay what feels suspiciously like the prices that I pay at Macy’s for my own pants—gulp—I actually paid $20 for a pair of pants for Ava.

I am not sure what was worse, trying to stomach this new level of financial commitment to a wardrobe she will outgrown in about 15 minutes or the indignity I suffered trying to stuff her into a 5T with her yelling at me in the dressing room—“Mom, my vagina hurts in these pants, I need a bigger pair!”

True story.  And, NO WAY to do I want to be responsible for childhood psyche scaring due to early camel toe experiences. No. Fucking. Way.

So, I bucked up and paid the extra dollars to buy her age-appropriate clothes in her correct size.

It is still sad, though. Gone are the days of cute Gymboree matchy-matchy outfits with her younger, size 3T sister. Sadly, the thing I miss the most are the polka dot pants.

Polka dot pants are awesome. I mean, I could never wear polka dots across my ass, but on a kid as cute as mine, nothing looks better. Since the size six clothes are the same style as the size fourteens, I’m sure that no self-respecting clothing manufacturer is going to waste their money making polka dot pants for the Hannah Montana set. No one would buy them but me.

Sigh.

Given all this, I delighted on Christmas morning when Ava tore open a gift from her Aunt Kris. This gift was like mana from Heaven. It was a wonderful, perfect pair of black pants with white polka dots.

Ahhhh….another year of innocence to celebrate. Bring on 2010—I can take it now that the polka dots have shown up.

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